Speaking from the Heart: It's Okay to Say No Without Feeling Guilty.
Have you ever found yourself saying ‘Yes’ to people and obligations meanwhile your insides were screaming ‘NO?’ Why did you do that? I’ll take a guess: You probably said yes because you didn’t want to feel the knot in your stomach that you feel when you say no. You didn’t want to feel like a letdown to the person asking. Most importantly you just didn’t want to feel guilty, AGAIN! If you find yourself relating to everything I just said, you’re not alone. Many people have found themselves in your situation, and it’s not a good place to be. To break away from this dissatisfying obligation you have embraced, you need to realize several things: Saying ‘No’ is not selfish Stepping away from an obligation doesn’t make you a failure Setting healthy boundaries is not rude. With that said, let’s get to the root of this issue, and, of course, the way out.
Why You Find It Hard to Say No
If you look back into the past, you might realize that you grew up saying yes to everything. You probably didn’t have a choice then, as you had elders and parents telling you what to do. It was also pleasurable to receive all the commendations that came with it. However, even after becoming an adult, some of us live for those moments of praise and commendation and feel like something is wrong when they don’t come.
Now, you’ve found yourself:
Worrying that people will dislike you for saying no.
Afraid of disappointing others
Feeling guilty for prioritizing your needs
Feeling pressured to say yes, for one final time (that never ends)
If saying ‘Yes’ was where everything ended, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. But saying yes to everything and everyone takes a massive toll on you
You feel exhausted
Experience burnout
Lose your self-identity and respect
You become resentful
You end up empty. Not being any good for yourself or others. It’s time to get out of it.
Saying No Without Guilt or Shame
You need to set boundaries and do that now. You need to change those uncomfortable ‘Yeses’ to ‘kind Nos.’ So, how do you start? These phases will help you say no gracefully and protect your peace.
I cannot commit to this right now, but I appreciate the offer.
I’m glad to receive your invite, but I am already booked for that time.
That sounds like fun, but I’m afraid I’m unavailable.
Raincheck?
Be prepared. Not everyone will like the real you. Some people will try to bend your resolve, and maybe even guilt trip you. Stand your ground! Don’t waver!
Choose Yourself: Say ‘No’ Today
Saying no is self-love too. It is caring for yourself and prioritizing your wellbeing. Nobody will do it for you, and so you must do it for yourself. Fill yourself up, and then you can pour out to others when necessary. Always Remember: You are allowed to choose yourself!
Book your first session today at Hearts to healing therapy.